Thursday, November 29, 2007

How to Tell Your Mom You Are Pregnant


These are letters written by girls who went through it.

from the "Mom, I'm Pregnant" page on the SilentScream.org website

I pray that God will give you strength and grace during your time of trial!
_______________

Now I'm married and have 5 children .... but when I was 19 years old.......

Hello, my name is Janet,

Let me tell you about the time, when I was so afraid to tell my mother that I was pregnant. Its really doesn't matter what your age is. I was 19 at the time. I was so afraid. I was thinking that my mother would be so upset when I found out that I was pregnant. It took me three months to tell her. I felt that my mother would put me out, and would make me abort the unborn fetus. But remember if your mother or parents love you they will understand. But believe me....it was very frightening!

But you can't hide it forever.

Well, anyway, I finally got the courage to tell her. I said, "Ma, I have something to tell you." She looked at me and I looked at her. Then I just said, "Ma, I'm pregnant." Then I walked out of the room. And the tears just started to come out of her eyes. I knew it would hurt.

After I went to the house of one of her girlfriends. I stayed at her house for about four days. So that my mother could get her mind together. So after a few days, she told me to come back home. She came through and she was there for me. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

But remember if you are 25 years old. Its just as frightening to tell your husband that you are pregnant again. Its the same as having to tell your parents. It will be very hard at first, but sooner or later they will see the light. It will take some time ....

"But just have faith!"

Your Friend,
Janet

______________________

A LETTER FROM ANGELA ..... 15 YEARS OLD AND A MOTHER

My name is Angela and I am 15 years old. When I first found out that I was pregnant I was a month into my pregnancy already. Before I found out, I was pregnant, I was taking a lot of home pregnancy tests, anyhow, I have a 18 year old sister whom I am very close to.

So I went to her right away, after telling my boyfriend. And she helped me out a lot. My parents are divorced and my father lives right near by in the town next to us.

To tell you the truth in the beginning I was thinking about aborting my baby, but it took me 2 months to change my mind, because by the 3rd month, my mother started to see me getting morning sickness. And my mother was always asking if I was OK. And I was telling her yes, because I was scared to tell her myself.

A couple weeks later my mother started to wonder if I was pregnant, so she went to my older sister and asked her if she knew if I was pregnant and she said, "Yes, Mom, Angela is pregnant." I was sleeping when she asked my sister. Later my sister told me that Mom was crying all night and worrying about what was gonna happen. So the next morning I woke up to go to school and after I got out of the shower, she asked me to come in he room and she told me she knew the truth. I just hugged her and started to cry a lot.

She told me that whatever decision I make, she will support me through the whole thing. Two days later my mother told my father and brother for me. It took my dad a couple of days to talk to me, but when he did talk to me, he was very supportive.

After she had done telling my brother, he went for a walk to cool down and as soon as he got back, he woke me up and said all of the sweetest things to me.

So don't ever be that scared to tell your parents because all I knew was that my baby is much more worth giving a life to, then my family being upset with me for a couple of weeks, when a baby lasts a life time.

Love Always,
Angela (15 yrs old)

_____________________


Dear friends,

I am a mother with a seven year old child. I had her when I was 34. This was my very first pregnancy. And I did not have a mom or dad her in the US. And even if I did, I was old enough to take care of my own responsibilities. So there was no way I would have gone to them.

But, I do understand your fears. You know why, I did have fears too. Just that it was a different kind of fear. My fears were. I did not have any family here. And I was having my first baby. I did not know how I was going to manage a baby while working. My biggest fear was she would baby sit this child for me to work. This child needs care, believe it or not I was terrified.

So girls you really are not alone....older people do have fears, when they are having their first baby.... sometimes even married couples. This is why I could understand the fears you have about telling your parents about your pregnancy.

My advice to you is this.

If you communicate with mom better .... then tell mom...... and she will tell dad. Or if you communicate with your dad better...then tell dad...and he will tell mom.

This is how you do it.

You go to mom or dad when she ... or he.... is alone and might be willing to talk. You could start by asking her about her self and when she was growing up. By doing so, it may help you to get to the point.

Say, "Mom, I really have something to tell you. This may make you very angry but I want you to know I did not do this to hurt you or dad."

It is better to say I did not want this to happen...then to say.... I never knew it would have happened, because you do know it would have happened, but you didn't want it to happen.

Then you say to her, "Please Mom, believe me I am hurting too. Mom, this is what I have to say to you. I am having a baby. But before you say anything to me just remember I love you and would never do this to hurt you and Dad."

Don't run away. Sit there and hear Mom out. She may say good things as well as bad. But she is your mother, so listen to what she has to say. Of course don't expect her to welcome the baby and you right away. But I am sure as time goes by Mom will come around.

Once you get this load off your chest, you will be feeling a whole lot better then you could think of the baby and you.

Girls, believe me, I know there is no easy way to say it. But you got to find away to tell them. They won't kill you or bite. Furious yes! And then again Mom or Dad might handle it well. I do hope this letter helps.

May God bless you and all the little ones.
With Love,
Judith